Just a few months ago, In April of 2023, the news in Henan province China reported two lions escaped from their enclosure during their act. Parents grabbed their children and fled the circus. Circus staff quickly contained the animals and the circus discontinued activities for the evening. But the experience is not one the children will soon forget.
‘Not my circus, not my monkey’ is an old Polish Proverb. When you monkey in other’s business, or when you allow them to monkey in yours, you are messing with the monkeys of others. Circuses are a great attraction and can be great family entertainment, however, in a world where animals did what animals do, claws can harm cute, cuddly skin and blood tends to put a damper on fun family entertainment. The balance is delicate, but as long as everybody is kept within their boundaries, circuses are great!
Anxiety is an attribute created by God. It motivates you to work harder, be greater, and give it all you’ve got. It gets you out of bed in the morning. Kristine Tye, a licensed family therapist, wrote on GoodTherapy, “Anxiety is a vital radar to show us what is right and wrong. To fully eliminate anxiety would be to eliminate discernment and self-awareness.”
When we take on responsibilities that are not ours, or allow others put responsibilities on us, we take the monkeys from other tents, and take on responsibility that is more than we can handle. Learning which monkeys to pick up is an invaluable skill that will serve you for life.
Control is the name of the game.
Control is connected to unhealthy anxiety in a number of ways. First, this oppressive stress occurs when you feel out of control. Situations seem to spin toward chaos. Too many monkeys jumping in your head creates this chaotic environment that causes us to emotionally and mentally shut down.
Second, the type of monkeys we decide to take charge of are typically things we can’t control: politics, others’ choices, people’s opinions of us, society’s standards, etc. Soon, I’m letting everyone keep their untamable monkeys in my tent!
We have a ranch style house that is built into a slope, so that the front door is actually on the second floor of the house with a stair case leading up to it. A few years ago we added a balcony that sits out from the front door. When I climb the stairs to our door, I have a view of the joists and crossbeams on the underside of our porch. The local bird population has decided that this is a very suitable location for their home construction. Currently, we are landlords to two sparrow families and one robin’s. Because of this, I have had the opportunity to do a close case study of them. They have a lot to be anxious about!
Almost every year we find hatchlings that have been kicked out of the nest (usually dead, but not always). I looked up how to care for one. I was exhausted just reading what birds go through as they raise their young. They are fed every 10-20 minutes. I like my three squares a day, but a mother sparrow prepares anywhere from 36- 74 meals a day! While I watch them under my porch, predators often prey on them, so while she hunts for food, she also guards her nest.
To us the bird’s morning song sounds peaceful (my husband disagrees), but to a bird, it is often the sound of war! They aren’t out there singing because they haven’t a care in the world. They gather food, feed their young, make and remake their nests. I am stressed out watching them.
Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father.
– Matthew 10:29
We all have responsibilities, Birds have a lot to do but they only busy themselves with the tasks that are reasonably theirs. We take things that don’t reasonably belong to us. Certainly, this doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t help others or get involved in others’ distress. There are, however, many things that we cannot fix, and that will only overwhelm us. What monkeys have you adopted that really belong to someone else?
It is helpful to define your anxieties, recognize the ones that are helpful, and the ones that are irrational. Write them down, then cross them off as you learn to release that monkey into the wild. Oh, Here’s an important note: Once you’ve fed the monkey, it will come back to you, so have that list ready, because you may have to deal with the same anxiety numerous times. It takes practice but soon you will start to breathe again, and you will realize how many monkeys you might be carrying that are not yours.
It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep. – Psalm 127:2