With the change in season, my mind is drawn back to a time in Ukraine. There is a term in Russian, ‘babushka’, which technically means ‘grandmother’, but was often used to refer to any older woman. In Ukrainian culture, a grandmother walking down the street has every right to tell you if she thinks you’re not dressed warm enough, or if she thinks you didn’t dress your kids sufficiently. This is magnified by a belief Ukrainian people have that if you aren’t dressed warmly, the cold air itself, actually directly makes you sick.
If you have ever had children, you know they have a mysterious repulsion to clothing. So, you have this constant dance with your children before they leave the house, “Do you have socks on? Where is your coat? You are going to wear a hat!” We have the same conversation in our house. This is magnified when you have a million babushkas telling you you aren’t dressed warm enough.
If you are like me, you don’t like someone else telling you how you should dress. I am much more sensitive to criticism for not dressing my children sufficiently. My philosophy has always been, if my kids don’t dress warm enough, they take the fall for it, and they’ll remember to grab a coat the next time. This did not go over well with the babushkas.
On one such occasion it was a beautiful fall day, about 50 degrees outside. My 7 year old daughter wore leggings and a t-shirt and over this, she wore a sweatshirt. My youngest son was a baby at the time, he was dressed similarly. We played for a bit at the park in the warm sunshine and walked across the street to catch a bus home. The bus stop was in the shade, so the temperature dropped quite a bit. Admittedly, the kids were a bit chilly, but I figured we could catch a bus and be home soon.
Not so.
Standing at the bus stop, a woman approached me and told me my son looked cold. I just nodded to her. She responded that if I didn’t dress him warmer, she was going to be compelled to call an ambulance.
I thought she couldn’t be serious, so I told her “Fine, call.” She pulled her phone out of her purse and dialed. Some other people at the bus stop started saying similar things. My bus approached and I figured I could board, and duck out of the situation, but she blocked my path.
Well now, I was getting a bit upset, and I told the woman how counterproductive this was. If I could get home, we could be warm. Now there was quite a crowd gathering, It was already obvious that I was a foreigner so I tried to explain, we have a different culture, people don’t dress as warmly, which fell on deaf ears.
Some people were so sweet trying to be helpful offering me money, giving the kids cookies. Wistfully, I watched another bus come and go which would have taken me home while I was held hostage at the bus stop!
I called my husband and told him the predicament I was in; he had just bought about thirty eggs. I don’t know why he bought so many eggs, but he ran from the grocery store where he had been (it was only about six blocks away) and I remember by the time he got there he was carrying a bag of liquid and eggshells.
It was about forty-five minutes by the time the ambulance finally came. I had watched my bus come and leave three times. The ambulance asked us to sign a waiver saying that we refused treatment and took us home.
I don’t fault this woman for doing the only thing she felt was right, she had been raised in a different culture, with different values than mine. My values aren’t wrong, just different.
I didn’t sew peace that day. If I had responded differently would things had been different? I don’t know, people getting in your business is frustrating and nobody likes it. Still, I have always wondered…
We all have that person at work, or at church, that grates on our nerves. I know there are so many Bible verses about responding with a quiet answer, and of course that is something we all need to strive for, but at times we just don’t want to. That was how I felt that day.
But he was pierced for our transgressions; He was crushed for our iniquities upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed. Isaiah 53:5
I have not because I always respond correctly, I have peace not because of anything I have done, I have peace by his wounds. So next time you want to strangle someone, remember His chastisement brought us peace.