Let’s dive headlong into the controversy shall we?
women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire,but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works. – 1Ti 2:10
Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear – 1 Peter 3:3
Doesn’t the Bible say something about shorts should be to the knees? Growing up in very conservative circles, I was surprised to find out that it doesn’t.
We have been round and round as to the meaning of these verses. I have mulled over them, discussed with friends, heard them in classes, heard them taught from the pulpit. What is the meaning, what is the intent? How does that reflect in the ways I live my life, and the decisions I make about my attire? I have a feeling somebody’s rules in the bible camp handbook may have been stitched into scripture somewhere. I have found myself looking for the ‘line’ rather than the definition of modesty. I was raised to believe shorts above the knee were sinful and the tunic that God made for Adam and Eve covered all the way out to the edge of the shoulder and the width of two fingers below the collar bone.
I get to feeling a bit like a dog chasing his tail, as I chase down the meaning of these verses, and so I decided it was time for some reflection. I will share with you my views, and hope you will share yours with me as well. So many principles in these two verses get lost in the pursuit of the proper length of a girl’s skirt and I am not sure that was the original purpose for them.
What is Modesty?
Different cultures and people around the world certainly have a different definition of what is modest. In some African villages women may wear nothing above the waistline at all. Or you might visit an Amish community where bright colors is immodest. In Ukraine people often came outside their house to water the garden in their underwear (The house right next to the church building, to be precise). God did not provide us with a line. All we know is that Adam and Eve’s fig-leaf fashion was insufficient.
Modesty can be defined in several ways, one of them certainly applies to one’s outer apparel. But modesty also can apply to the quiet spirit that determines the choices of clothing
Oxford dictionary describes modest as unassuming or moderate in the estimation of one’s abilities. For me, it’s helpful to consider the opposite of modest; pride. These are the qualities that God can use. Think of the women who have had the greatest impact on you. Were they the ones who took control, were bossy, etc? Or were they the one who sat down quietly with you and listened to your heart? These women are the ones who are true leaders. They move nations one heart at a time.
Many people will point out that the bible doesn’t say where the line is or what types of clothing shouldn’t be worn (assuming that such observation makes everything in bounds), but at this time in history, girls did not argue about whether bikinis were acceptable, since nobody at that time wore them! The Roman toga revealed more of the shoulder area, and from what we know of Hebrew culture, women often still covered their heads.
Modesty in the bible seems directed at the ornateness of the dress and hair. The question is why would a Hebrew woman at the time of this writing braid her hair or put on gold and jewelry? Is it wrong to braid your hair or put on gold or jewelry than (I did hear a preacher tell me, braiding your hair is wrong, and a lot of Christians have taken this to mean, jewelry should not be worn)?
Within their culture this was how women pushed the limits to draw attention to themselves, by emphasizing themselves physically. That’s the attitude that motivates the physical immodesty. If Paul was a 21st century writer, I’m sure his examples would reference ways we draw attention to our bodies. It might say, “whose outward adornment let it not be miniskirts, tube tops, and plunging necklines…”
Timothy is exhorted in 1 Timothy 5:2 to treat the younger women as sisters with all purity. This verse offers a little more insight for me. If you think of men as brother, how do you dress around them? I don’t think I would think much about my attire, because I am not dressing to impress them.
Being the mother of 3 boys, the types of activities we can engage in is limited because we have to consider the way girls will be dressed where we will go. Girls are constantly under pressure to dress in a way that draws attention away from their character and to their physical appearance.
It’s a constant battle, but I feel it is one worth fighting. We need to enable girls to not have to toe the line and expose their bodies devaluing themselves. Girls reflect how they feel about themselves by what they put on their bodies. It is so hard to teach my boys to respect girls when girls have no respect for themselves.
Woe to you scribes and Pharisees hypocrites for you pay tithe of mint and anise and cumin and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faith. These you ought to have done without leaving the others undone. – Mathew 23:23
It’s possible that emphasis of the lines and rules has caused us to strain out the gnat while swallowing camels. On the other hand, Jesus doesn’t say that the observing the weightier matters allows us to disregard the finer points of obedience.
What you wear reflects your heart. Modesty is a condition of the hear first, but it will inevitably be shown in how you live. You can’t walk around almost completely naked in a modest attitude.
This is what I have come away with: What is my purpose in wearing what I wear? Am I glorifying God, or drawing attention toward myself? What do you notice about me? Is it my attitude or my appearance?