I learned a fun word this week ‘matriphagy.’ An odd behavior to be sure. But then sacrifices mothers make aren’t always easily explained. Some days you might feel like the task takes your last ounce of strength. Be thankful you are not a Stegodyphus lineatus spider native to the Negev (Southern) region in Israel. After two weeks of nurturing her young she allows her hatch-lings to eat her alive! She lies still and gives herself over as nutrition until she is just an exoskeleton, after which they will be strong enough to be on their own and fend for themselves.
After childbirth and then raising these tiny fiends (children, not spiders), you might tell yourself you are never doing it again. Not all of us do, but many of us will go through the same vicious cycle again and again. Are we moms’ gluttons for punishment?
Hysterical Strength
Hysterical strength is a phenomenon that occurs when a mother (or any creature, human or not) detects her young are in danger. This is when you read about women running out into traffic to save a child. According to Healthline, the body has a natural fight or flight reflex that kicks in when she detects a threat that triggers a complex physiological response.
First the Hypothalamus releases adrenaline and sends more oxygen to your muscles. This is where you get your extra boost of strength. While the cortisol accesses extra glucose stores, giving you a surge of energy.
As part of the fight or flight response your body also produces Endorphins, a feel-good chemical which increases your pain tolerance.
Naturally, your body seeks to conserve energy, but in this unique reaction to a threat your body turns that off and you will respond with a strength you did not know you had.
Body mass still has its limitations; a 125 lb. woman simply is not going to lift a car, but some real instances of incredible feats by women protecting their children have been documented. In 2006, a woman walking with her children fought off a polar bear, until a passerby, shot his gun into the air and scared the bear off. In another instance, in 2016, the LA Times investigated an instance where a woman 120lbs, fought a man 200 lbs. who attacked her daughter with a knife. The woman was able to wrench the knife from his hands and stabbed him 13 times. The man died three days later due to his wounds.
My Mom
I do not say this often, so I am going to blow my cover here and admit I have always had a lot of respect for my mom. It’s one thing to hear this now that I’m a mature adult, but teenagers don’t offer this sentiment often, but she was determined to raise us as Christians. I remember taking note as a teenager, I did not have a choice in the matter of being in church or participating in camps and youth group. My mom was also raised by a strong woman who did the same for her.
My husband, Andrew, was raised by a single mother who was just as determined to get her kids to church every Sunday and Wednesday and every event in between as my own mother. He remembers her traipsing across the park and yanking him out of baseball games in the 5th inning on Wednesday nights. He does not resent it now, though at the time he didn’t see the importance of going and listening to someone talk. He would not remember baseball or whether they won or lost, but he remembers proudly sitting in class on Wednesday night in his baseball uniform along with several other boys whose mothers had the same sense of dedication.
In fact, we both have said our mothers’ flat refusal to move the line on going to church is one of the reasons we are still faithful as adults.
The proverbs of Solomon. A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son is a sorrow to his mother. Proverbs 10:1
A Note to My Kids
My oldest just came home from college and it felt good sitting in church on Sunday participating in communion with all four of them. I hope and pray each of them will find someone to share their own lives with and will in turn raise their own children in the faith I passed on to them, by my mother.
!Warning! unpopular verse
Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control. 1 Timothy 2:15
So that is it! Mothers, your primary job is just to raise faithful, happy, productive, loving, holy children, and with self-control. Many women do not see this as their life’s purpose anymore and it is showing. Only 30% of families still gather around the table for a meal together on a regular basis. 84% said they should, but they do not. The divorce rate has dropped in recent years, not because families are staying together, but because not as many are getting married. We are all aware of the drop in emphasis on education and the subsequent rise in crime. All this is related. Statistics would reflect a better outcome if we made one change; if moms took 1 Timothy 2:15 and made it their live’s motto.
What magnificent and tragic influences alike have been wrought on our culture and world. Who encouraged the men who have influenced society? Who aggravated them? The first five years of a child’s life while they are doing the most learning is the most crucial to the child’s overall experience as they wander on the earth. She plays so many roles in her child’s cognitive development, which will impact his or her overall emotional and mental outlook.
If a bird’s nest happens to be before you on the way in any tree or on the ground, with young ones or eggs which the mother sitting on the young or on the eggs you shall not take the mother with the young. You shall surely let the mother go and take the young for yourself. – Deuteronomy 22:6
Love me a good obscure Bible verse that makes you go “whaaa??”
Deuteronomy, was a rereading of the law that was given to the Israelite nation. They observed 615 laws, some of them the reason for them was obvious, others like this one, are not as clear. The verse mentioned above in 1 Timothy helps me understand what this verse might mean. The mother was kept safe because she was a guarantee of future generations. In a spiritual sense, raising our children to be the next generation to whom the work of the church can be passed on to, is so incredibly important.
Cleaning up skinned knees, un-sticking zippers, making sure they are fed, and getting them to sports games and even barking at the kids to get their chores done is all a part of developing them into humans that are a productive part of society. These things will not preserve a woman spiritually.
Making sure that they are in Sunday school and worship services where they can praise God and learn His word is more formative. Reading the bible in the home, having spiritual conversations, and placing them in spiritual environments like camps and VBS and youth groups is so important. These are the things that will make them spiritual parts of society, and allow a Christian mother to preserve the next generation and in so doing she preserves herself.