Once, a boy walked along the shore. He picked up a stick and drove it into the sand as he considered whether he wanted to build a sandcastle. He caught a frog, and as he examined it (He named him Sherman). At this moment, a movement caught his eye, and he saw a second frog. Thinking his frog might be lonely, he caught the second frog for a companion. He introduced the Sherman to his new lady friend (he was sure this second frog was a girl, so he named her Linda.)
He was enjoying the view of the water; he felt the waves tickle his toes. As the waves pulled away from the shore, he felt the water remove a little sand from under his foot. He lifted his foot to watch the water fill in his footprint. He shoved Sherman into one pocket and Linda in the other as he stooped to pick up a shell.
Amazingly, he saw a third frog! He started to think he might like this frog even more. What was a boy to do? He was a very good frog catcher, and he caught this third frog, and named it Larry. He put Larry in his pocket with Linda. Now he was spotting frogs everywhere! Minutes stretched out as he caught frogs and shoved them in his pockets. He thought his pockets must be infinitely deep. He quickly lost count of how many frogs he caught. At some point he stopped naming them.
Of course, he now realized the need for expansion. He needed to find a container of some sort if he wanted to expand his froggy brigade. He put his hand in his pocket expecting his fingers to slip between all the slimy little bodies. What he felt shocked him! He didn’t feel any frogs at all! Quickly he pulled his hand out of his pocket and switched hands to check his left pocket. Again, he felt no frogs, only the frog he still held in his right hand and one hopped over his foot trying to make a run for it.
There were only two frogs, there had never been more than two. He realized as he caught the frogs and shoved them in his pockets, they were escaping from his pocket as quickly as he was catching them over and over.
Do you ever feel like that? In a spiritual sense, sometimes, I feel like I am ‘upping my game’; being a good mom, getting involved in church, balancing work and home. And realize how completely I am failing. As young moms we do this, as older women, as parents, and just as humans. And we do this for all motivations (good or bad).
You may know that parent who lives vicariously through their children’s lives. They want to see their children achieve success that eluded them as kids. Other parents may do the same things, genuinely trying to set their children up for success. The motivation isn’t significant, but they can both be destructive spiritually. Image flipping the situation: what would happen if you lived your own life the way you want your kids to live their lives?
No parent ever said:
“I want my kids to work endless hours, to never have a chance to eat around the table with my grandkids.” or “I want my kids to be running their own kids from music, to practice, to games to performances…so that they eventually sacrifice happy marriages and have to miss being in church 3 of 4 weeks.”
If we wouldn’t desire that for our children, why would we live our lives like that? You might convince yourself that you are setting your kids up for success, but in reality you might be making small sacrifices that you think are insignificant but if you step back and look at the big picture, you might be setting them up for failure spiritually. Why? Because our kids are smart. They understand what they are watching and they will likely pattern themselves after you because these silent decisions teach them what is important in life.
Harry Chapin’s most famous song, “Cat’s In the Cradle“, strikes a chord in all of our hearts because we recognize the truth of a child who grows up to mimic his dad’s worst habits. The father realizes that he now is unfulfilled because of the values he instilled in his boy.
They may earn an achievement badge or hold a first place trophy, but you will lay small foundation blocks labeled divorce, depression, greed, and dissatisfaction and worldiness.
Sometimes, I think I get caught up in keeping up, and I forget to check my pockets. I can only hold two frogs, but I deceive myself into thinking I want a pocket full of frogs. I am not keeping up anyway, so why am I trying?
And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about
many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not
be taken away from her. – Luke 10: 41,42.
Martha wasn’t criticized for making a meal (eating is not an optional part of life). Jesus was trying to explain that spiritual things are more important. He wasn’t going to die if Martha had sat down and listened to his lesson. they could’ve eaten an hour later. Your family and friends won’t die because they don’t get to participate in an activity that conflicts with God.
Right now, what is taking space in your brain and life and keeping you from being wholly present with your family?
While you are trying to balance everything you will fail everything. Make a list of priorities. by category arrange the things in your life that can’t be compromised God, Church, Family. What else should be on that list?
Simplify your life.