A Saturday Evening Post

Recently, I contacted a Christian doctor who we’ve known for some time, interested in a blog post. The direction went completely different than my original idea, but his testimony was very touching.

For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like.  – James 1:23-24

I’m not sure I would deliberately do this, but I think the only ways I could is if I was in a hurry or if I was able to convince myself it wasn’t really that bad. I know that I’ve glanced at a mirror, and then a little later, when I finally got a second look at myself, I realized probably should have paid a little more attention the first time.

Under an apple tree on a small farm in Arkansas. Eric’s (a pseudonym) story began. His grandfather was absorbed in a book, the New Testament, when he read a verse that changed his life and the way that Eric was later raised. He burst through the back door of the farmhouse kitchen and said to his wife, “I know what we must do to be saved!” From that point, Eric’s mother was raised in a happy Christian home. She met a German immigrant who also became a Christian. They started a church meeting in their home, and a smalltown congregation was soon formed.   

Eric decided at an early age he wanted to be a doctor like others in his family. After transferring through a medley of schools, he got his residency, moonlighting in the Emergency room. He enjoyed the experience he acquired there. He got his medical license and opened practice with his brother-in-law. He soon met his wife, and the two were married. They soon built a house on his father’s farm.

15 years after working in the clinic, the fast pace of the ER called him back, from the boredom of family practice. The ER brought a lot of stress, and with it, an alcohol dependency for Eric. It became a friend and was always there to relieve the stress of work and family. Sometimes it felt like the only stable thing in his life, until it became the problem and not the solution.

30% of the patients Eric treated in the ER came with alcohol related accidents. He diagnosed them with alcohol disease and recommended chemical dependency evaluations, but never saw himself as having the same illness. Eric was the man James talked about. It was like God held up a mirror again and again to show him his problem, but Eric refused to see his true reflection.

His wife recognized early that his alcoholism was out of control. Even his kids saw it, but he would never admit it to himself. He was eventually forced to have the same evaluation that he had recommended for so many patients, and was diagnosed with a severe alcohol addiction, which he still denied. He had it under control!  A six-week outpatient rehabilitation program failed to curb his dependency and he was admitted into a more strenuous 4-week inpatient program. He was only released for two hours to attend his son’s wedding, before returning.

This second rehab proved to be enigmatic; he still didn’t believe his alcoholism was out of control, yet he sobered up. As he became sober, the problems in his life multiplied instead of clearing up. Manic episodes manifested, which made it impossible for his wife to stay with him, so they separated.

                        After a year of sobriety, he went through the “dry drunk” stage, when those aren’t drinking still haven’t uncovering the underlying reasons for the addiction. His family, and coworkers, started to realize the alcohol had covered up a different intensifying problem.  Eric was experiencing manic depression: he was bi-polar. 90% of those who suffer this disorder self-medicate with alcohol. He was placed on high doses of medication, and briefly moved back in with his wife, but the relationship was destined for failure. These episodes were hardest on his wife, eventually resulting in divorce. He moved in with his brother and sister-in-law, but he soon wore them out.

                        Only recently has his depression finally subsided, controlled by medication. Recovery from alcohol allows you to start to be empathetic. He is finally able to show concern for his wife and hopes his wife will get the therapy she needs. One day he could even be at peace with her.

                        Eric has been through three valleys: alcohol, mental illness, and divorce. However, he believes he has been given a gift. He was placed on disability and can give 100% of his time and energy to the Lord. He says people often tell him he can’t understand the hardships they experience. He disagrees.

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.  – Hebrews 4:15-16

Eric feels similar to Jesus, in that he can reach past all the barriers hurting people use to hedge themselves in and is able to touch their hearts. The difference is, of course, He knows the lies people tell themselves, because they were his lies too. His struggle is still very fresh, he says that glance in the mirror, has been the hardest thing he has ever done. Admitting his failure to himself, and to his family is only the first step, and he has many more steps to take. Many of those steps will have to be completed multiple times, but he is encouraged now, that he understands his alcohol dependency. Alcoholism’s co-occurrence with bi-polar disorder is a fairly under-served territory of medical research. He hopes his medical background combined with his own experience; he will provide a clear path forward for others who suffer from this terrible disease.

We do not choose many of the things we are given physically, but we can choose what to do with them. The miracle of Christianity is that everything can be used to help someone else.